I haven’t written anything in a couple weeks and for that I apologize. There’s lots going on and lots to chew on in my life.
One of the subjects that comes up often due to the impact of social media is greed and jealousy, and despite the fact that most of our Filipina wives came from poorer backgrounds, it impacts them just as much as rich kanos.
It works sort of like this. A Filipina friend or wife of a friend posts her latest acquisition on Facebook: let’s say a hot new phone. Everyone ooos and aaahhhs and congratulates her. But within a couple days the backlash begins. “Did you see what she posted?” “She’s just bragging.” “She thinks she’s better than the rest of us.” “Her husband much be rich.” Well, you get the idea.
It’s a really fine line and because of modern social media, it’s an easy line to cross. A few years ago I leased a jet black, Bavarian-made car (wink-wink). I emphasize lease because I didn’t own it; with leasing you’re essentially renting the thing. I got a decent deal and rationalized that in my old age I deserved driving a better car at least once in my life. I posted pics of my new acquisition on Facebook, but then I began to worry. Was I just sharing my excitement with my friends or bragging? To this day I don’t know, but as I say it’s a fine line. My ex-wife made a pointedly snide comment about my new toy and I found myself rationalizing, “Hey it’s only a lease and I got a good deal.”
When my grandfather, Jack, was alive he got a new Cadillac every couple of years (no one knew from Bavarian cars back then, not that a Jew was supposed to own one). I don’t remember him ever rationalizing. He had a younger wife, a shiny new Caddy and played golf every day; life was good – what was there to apologize for? That’s what you were supposed to strive for!
Of course I’ve posted dozens of pics of Janet over the last few years. Naturally I don’t choose the unflattering ones. Am I just letting people know what we are up to or am I bragging about my hot wife? A bit of both I guess.
We travel and will be traveling again to the Philippines in less than a month. I’ll no doubt post tons of pics and videos and share stories and impressions of the places we will go to. I’d hate to feel that someone might consider me a braggart. I suppose it’s Jewish guilt.
Maybe I ought to copy the attitude of my grandfather, Jack. BTW, I’ve been trying to subtlety float the idea to Janet that “Jack” is a pretty good name for a boy. If we ever had a kid and named him Jack, I’m pretty damn sure I know how he’ll turn out.
This has all been going through my mind because I recently found out that Ex Number Two, who unceremoniously kicked me out 8 1/2 years ago has been reading this very blog. I kid you not! Not only is she apparently a loyal reader but she’s been sharing tidbits of what I have written with my teens. I am guessing her purpose is not to show my kids how happy a life their dad now has.
Now, fundamentally I don’t feel that I have anything to hide. And believe it or not I don’t write much differently from how I talk. I’m a smart-assed Jew from Philly. The language that I use and the irreverent tone would be nothing new to anyone who knows me, including my kids.
And despite the tone of openness and transparency on this blog, there are subjects and incidents that I don’t write about. There’s innuendo but nothing more here.
I find it fascinating and a bit gross that Ex Number Two is reading this, like some kind of 50-something stalker. Could it be envy or jealousy or just hoping to catch me in something she can use against me? Or perhaps just general fascination with my remarkable life 🙂
Whatever the reason, let’s all welcome her!
When Janet 1st arrived in the U.S. a year and a half ago, both Ex Number Two and her brother found excuses to come over and enter our house. Neither had been inside for years. They weren’t looking for me. I guess that wanted to check out Hot Current Wife Number One 🙂
When Janet was preparing to come to the U.S. I was warned by some that we would encounter anger and jealousy. I’ve seen it a time or two, but in all honesty not often. I suspect that is more because of my own naivety or lack of insight into the negative feelings of others. Actually it’s most likely that I don’t give a shit. If some old fart in the mall sees us walking along and holding hands – what do I care what he thinks.
A lot of guys think the jealousy thing in the U.S. is caused by feminism but I don’t know if that’s the primary reason. I guess it’s a factor but I see guys just as annoyed as women. My guess is that they know I am getting something at home that they are not – and getting it fairly often 🙂 Like I say, I can be subtle without being X-rated!
The more I think about it, jealousy and envy are about the most destructive negative emotions we deal with as humans. Anger, even violent anger fades; we calm down and move on – if reluctantly. But seething jealousy is forever. Is Ex Number Two ever gonna forget that Bimmer or the hot young wife? I’m guessing not. It festers (see the image above).
I think our collective attitudes ought to change. Instead of being jealous when that friend posts the pics of the new iPhone, Pinays ought to remember that they are Americans now and should act American – meaning go out and buy two iPhones.
And BTW, I now lease a Ford and if any friend dares post a pic of his new Bimmer, I’m gonna be jealous! Expect to get keyed.