Dating Filipina Scammers – It’s a “You” Problem

All you have to do to drive up traffic and controversy on your blog, You Tube vlog, forum, or in expat conversations is state that “Filipinas are scammers” or “they all will take advantage of you.” Others will nod their heads in agreement or sagely advise to “let’s be careful out there.”

Let me state my argument up front. In 90% of the cases it’s a “you problem.”

Now I am not trying to suggest that there are not “bad” women in the Philippines looking for cash, just as there are any place in the world.

But going back to my refrain that you’re gonna read often, so get used to it; generally it’s a “you problem.”

After all, you have all the advantages. You’re typically older (in my case much, much older) with the alleged wisdom that comes with age. You have a 1st worlder’s sophistication and a 1st worlder’s education. And even if you’re poor as a church mouse, by Philippines standards you’re rich – at least a little bit rich 🙂

And the Filipina friend you’ve been cultivating online? Young and inexperienced, unsophisticated, without that 1st world education. And let’s not forget she has no money, nor have her parents. So you have all the advantages, right? Well expect for the fact that she’s cute (or in the case of Janet more than just cute), sweet, treats you great, has a traditional sensibility. And oh, did I mention she’s pretty damn cute?

Barely a day goes by in which I don’t hear a tale of woe about some guy who sent money to a girl online, built her a house, paid the medical expenses for her parents or uncle, etc. Then he found out that she – wait for it – wanted his money.

I’ve said it before and I will say it again. This is the easiest problem in the dating world to navigate; don’t send any money to someone you have not met in person and are not in a serious relationship with. And if you choose not to heed that advise – it’s a “you problem.” And BTW, even after you have met and are in a relationship, stick to the common refrain “less is more.”

This is the easiest problem in the dating world to navigate; don’t send any money to someone you have not met in person and are not in a serious relationship with.

That being said, you could consider a “test” with a small amount of money. I did it with one of the women I was chatting with back in the day. She chatted online from an internet cafe, a pretty common occurrence in the Philippines. But she wasn’t online much; money was the obstacle. I finally proposed that I send her the princely sum of $20 on the condition that she use it solely for our chatting; you can chat a long time for 20 bucks in the Philippines. You can guess the outcome. A couple weeks later she finally got online and admitted she spent the money, probably on something foolish like food. For a tiny investment I had my answer and found a much better chat mate in Janet.

When it comes to cash issues, the same is true after you get married. If you choose to shower your new wife with expensive gifts, send her siblings to the most costly university in Manila, buy her parents a yacht (ok, more likely an old pump boat), then you don’t get to complain afterwards that “she was just using me.” Once again – it’s a “you problem.”

Then there’s the refrain you often hear that all foreign women just want a green card. Right – cause every Filipina wants to live in a crazy place where we all just spent the last year arguing over Trump vs. Clinton 🙂

I’m not saying it doesn’t ever happen but I know 100+ Fil-Am couples living in my city and none of the women dumped their husbands the moment they got the green card. And believe me, with the exception of yours truly, none of these guys is exactly George Clooney.

And believe me, with the exception of yours truly, none of these guys is exactly George Clooney.

OK, I do know one couple that divorced and the green card was an issue. The guy is bright and successful but complained about the wife from the moment they married. Eventually he proposed they divorce but that he would allow her to get her 10 year green card first. Scammer that she was, she actually wanted to save the marriage; he didn’t. Well at least she got the green card.

Anyone who is an avid reader of this blog knows that I have made a mistake or two in my Philippines journey. I just thought it ridiculous to blame an entire country of women for the mistakes that I made. Well, that and the fact I still had lots of fun making those mistakes.

Now most of us are adults here. By that I mean that what you do is your choice. If you want to send money to a girl you haven’t met, or shower her  family with cash and prizes or any of a huge number of foolish things guys do when they’re around women; well, it’s your money and your decision. You have the right to do whatever you want. Just don’t complain afterwards about how “they” are all scammers.

So guys – be careful in dating, whether you begin online or in country. Get to know each other as best as you can. Visit her as often as you can. Take your time. But in the end, you’re the one with the age, sophistication, education and resources. If things don’t go the way you hoped – say it with me – it’s a “you problem.”

 

 

6 thoughts on “Dating Filipina Scammers – It’s a “You” Problem”

  1. Great article and advice Dave! Yes you know my stance very well on this issue and it really boils down to using good judgment and having high standards when looking for your mate.

    1. Thanks Pete. In theory it should be easy at our age to not act like an idiot. In reality I guess it’s harder than it looks 🙂

  2. Thats a good advice. One more thing just be sure the lady loves you. Before my husband family accused me of being a scammer but when i get in here they changed thier views about me. The truth my hubby is a spoiled one. I get him a boat, i bought him a ar15 and i bought him everything that i know i will make him happy. Mostly filipinas are lovable, spoiler and kind. I love him so much and im so grateful for everything he gaveth to me when im still in the Philippines. Maybe there is some that is bad and the only she wants is money. Anyways not only filipina, that does that. All around the world there is bad ladies and men that make it a job to scam people.

    1. Great comment, Eva! Yes Janet is also generous with me. Even though she came to the US with nothing she started to work and save and likes to treat me periodically. Sometimes I have to tell her not to buy something for me – that I don’t really need it and to save her money. Thanks again!

  3. Dave, Its a pleasure to read your posts. watch your videos!

    Like your laid back wisdom and humor! Totally my wave length! Didn’t expect that from an American (I am a Brit who worked in LA as cameraman for 25 years, nothing but BS!)

    I did some filming on my own in Phils in Jan/Feb 2016 and look forward to returning! Your advice and remarks are spot on!

    In my experience, Filipinos(as) are wonderful people, friendly, smiling and stress free in spite of facing tremendous hardships.

    I have watched vlogs by guys complaining that every filipina is a first class rip-off! These guys look like losers that no decent woman would want to have anything to do with! Their attitudes prove that they are not even able to recognise an honest woman, forget about attracting one!

    They think a filipina woman is either too stupid or too desperate to care that they look like white-trash drug-dealers! Talk about a ‘YOU’ problem!

    But none of us are immune from making errors of judgement sometimes and being convinced that the other person’s actions were to blame!

    The internet is a place where you find everything – the good, the bad, the ugly as well as the wonderful!

    You must separate the gems from the trash.The truth is that the percentage of male scammers who insult decent women by trying to persuade them to show themselves naked on cam right off the bat is way higher than the percentage of dishonest women on dating sites.

    Your story proves a sincere and decent man, with the wisdom and understanding that comes with maturity, can win the heart of a beautiful, loving filipina many years younger and keep it!

    Congratulations to you and your lovely wife, Janet! I wish you many more years of happiness!

    1. Thanks Roy! Glad you’re enjoying the blog and videos. Hope you get to return to the Philippines soon. Separating the gems from the trash – totally agree both regarding Filipinos and expats!

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