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Lockdown Consequences

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If you thought this was gonna be a scathing indictment of the worldwide lockdowns, you will be disappointed. Sure, I think I could make an argument that many of the lockdown measures have been unnecessary, extreme and even Draconian, but this won’t be it. Will see whether FB slaps me down anyway.

The following are two stories, random really, about lockdown consequences. One is fairly trivial and one is serious.

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I’ve always had great eyesight. I was the kid who when we were driving could read a sign a couple hundred yards away. “How can you read that?” someone would ask. I’d shrug. I remember my mother taking me to an optometrist as a small child, who declared I was 20-20 (whatever that meant) and wouldn’t need glasses “until you are 40.” Since that was an infinite time away I thought, ‘I’ll never need glasses.’

Nonetheless by my mid-40s my ability to read the computer and newspaper seemed to be waning and after decades I reluctantly went to an optometrist. “Why are you here?” he asked after examining me. “You’re 20-20 (by now I knew what that meant).” I explained the problem I was having and he explained why I needed cheap reading glasses despite my perfect vision.

When Janet and I married we went to optometrists a couple times. The last time was three years ago, just before we moved to the Philippines. The doctor pronounced that we were both 20-20. “Which one of us has better eyesight?” Janet asked. The doc reluctantly admitted it was the ancient husband. I rubbed Janet’s nose in that one for awhile.

As the lockdown and quarantine has partially lifted here in Dumaguete, my buddies and I have returned to playing golf. Before Covid-19 became an insane part of our lives, our weekly game was a high point of my retired life. Today we returned.

The course’s first hole is a short 100 yard par 3. I hit a decent shot just off the green. I saw the ball fly all the way but when it landed 100 yard away I saw two balls. Everyone else hit their shots and as I focused on each white ball after landing, I saw two of each. OK, there’s a nasty joke in here, but I’m not writing it.

I blinked my eyes, shook my head and wondered what was wrong. I had no problem seeing trees or the flagstick or anything else; just looking at that tiny while ball in the distance seemed a problem. As the round proceeded I tried to focus on each ball in the distance. I had no problem seeing the ball in general. As always I could tell my companions, “your shot’s 10 feet left of the cup (ok that didn’t happen often).” After a while I wasn’t seeing double, I was seeing maybe 1 1/2 balls.

By now I had told my fellow players who expressed concern and suggested I go check it out. And I probably will do that when this is all a little closer to being over. By the 18th hole I was seeing almost normally; 1 ball and a slight blur. It then hit me. For two months I’d been indoors. I spent lots of time looking at computers and phones and TVs. Sure I’d gone out a bit and walked around. But I’d had no reason to focus on a small object 100-200 yards away. I hadn’t even driven, where focusing in the distance is important. So, for now I no longer have the best vision in the world. I wonder what else I’ve damaged with two months indoors.

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I’ve said often that I really like all of Janet’s family members. Not a bad one in the group. But, if I think about it, the person I like most (and don’t tell any other family members this) is Janet’s Lolo (Grandfather). His great grandchildren call him Lolo Old Guy (as opposed to Janet’s father, who is their Lolo/grandfather), which is pretty funny. He speaks no English but he was always very nice to me. Whenever I see him we share a beer. That is the extent of our relationship, which only proves that a relationship can be built on a very simple thing.

Lolo (from Janet’s mother’s side) turns 90 this Sunday. For the last couple years at least Janet has been telling him that she will throw him a big 90th birthday party with a couple pigs. In the Philippines the size and importance of a party is always defined by how many pigs you have. Janet reminds him of this often because we have all noticed that as he has aged he seems not as happy as before.

Last year he was sick in the hospital. The flu became pneumonia. They gave him oxygen and antibiotics. He talked about how it was his time to go. But it wasn’t. Slowly he recovered and went home. His strength was down but Janet reminded him he had to hold on for his huge 90th birthday party. Janet had also intended to fly in some of his children, who live in Luzon and no doubt cannot afford airfare.

And then Covid-19 and the quarantine came. Lolo, who always liked a daily walk, could not leave his house. He could not understand why his daughter (Janet’s mom) could not visit him, nor could his grandchildren or great grandchildren, all of whom live within a ten minute walk. Janet’s mom tried to explain but how do you explain viruses and quarantines to a 90 year old, who just wants to see his family.

He talks about the end and everyone tries to keep his spirits up and remind him of the party. Now that the lockdown has been relaxed a bit, Janet has come to the conclusion with my help, that it’s time for Lolo to take an occasional walk and carefully see some of his family. It’s the only thing he wants in life and at 90 he should have it.

I know that Janet is heartbroken that she cannot be there with him for his birthday. She tells her family that when travel between islands resumes we will have a real party; all of us together. But in the meantime this Sunday there will be a pig and we sent a video greeting.

And while I don’t tell Janet, not being there breaks my heart too.

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Corona TImes #2

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It’s been only 12 days since I wrote my last blog piece, http://Corona Times in the Philippines, and well, the world and the Philippines have changed a lot since then. I usually try to write humorously but it’s a tough struggle now.

Like many people, I just want the world to return to the way it was a month or two ago. If not, I want someone to give me a date when to expect things to return. And if not that I want the world to return for just me and Janet – and maybe if I’m generous a few carefully selected others – and let the rest of you deal with all of this. That seems fair, don’t you all agree lol.

By the Numbers: As of today there are 2084 reported cases of Covid-19 in the Philippines and 88 deaths. This is 10 times the number of cases and about 6 times the number of deaths I reported 12 days ago. The numbers are small compared to the US, but growing at an alarming rate.

Unlike most countries, the Philippines, an archipelago, has a natural advantage. Ferries and planes between islands were mostly shutdown 2 weeks ago, with the exception of necessary supplies. Whatever term you use, that means that we’ve essentially been quarantined for the past couple weeks, unable to travel except on our island. Actually that’s not entirely true. Negros has two provinces and the other province, Negros Occidental closed its borders a couple weeks ago. so really we can only travel within Negros Oriental, which is pretty limiting.

I watch a huge country like the US, where people can and do freely travel between states, and can’t help but wonder if that’s a good thing. Here we have no such options.

In addition, islands like Luzon and Cebu are under complete lockdown, so you can’t move from town to town. Several of Janet’s siblings left Cebu City before the lockdown and are now home in Alcoy, Cebu.

Gradually through the last 12 days most stores and restaurants have closed. A few holdovers do deliveries. I was disappointed to find out that my favourite bagel place, Rolling Pin, actually the only bagel place, closed today. I was hoping to hit it one more time before Friday.

Why Friday? Because Friday, April 3rd the entire province announced we’d be under enhanced quarantine. This means most businesses will be closed by law. Every family will get one pass for someone to leave the home 2 days a week to get groceries or take care of whatever business they have. Janet will be the pass holder, since as a senior I am not supposed to leave the house at all. I’m not a have to go places every day sort of guy but I need my daily walk. At this age my daily walk is mostly the walk around the block sort of exercise and I’m still hoping to be able to do that. I swear I’ll wear a mask and won’t go near anybody but being locked in scares the shit out of me.

Now I have to admit that where we are locked in is a pretty nice place. We have 1300+ square meters of property. I have a shop in the back of the lot and Janet has a garden. Hell, I could walk to my shop and back 4 or 5 times and it would be just as much exercise as my walk, but it’s still not the same.

As reported before the yard is big enough to practice my chipping. I have a bucket as my target. I usually miss it and the ball goes into Janet’s garden which doesn’t enhance our relationship.

Unlike most Filipinos we have plenty of groceries and the money to get more. And we have a car which allows us to stay away from others. I never thought of this benefit when I bought the car but it seems pretty important now.

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In fact yesterday, as my darling Janet began to watch me crack up she suggested that we take a drive. We drove to Siaton; just drove and looked at the sites. The weather was beautiful of course. Dumaguete was pretty much closed down but as we got further and further out of town we noticed that commercial activity picked up, until it seemed normal by the time we hit the outer limits of our drive. I wish I could say this was a good thing but in fact it struck us as a bad thing. I could imagine the people thinking, ‘All that danger stuff is for people in Dumaguete or Cebu or Manila, not for us here.’ I hope they’re right but doubt it.

But come Friday there will be no more drives, no more bagels or most other treats I like to spoil myself and Janet with.

But it’s not all bad news. Because the bagel place was closed, I panicked. “I wonder if McDonalds (known as McDos here) is closed?” I cried in terror. “Let’s find out,” suggested my darling wife. We went down there and praise the Lord, they were open and we got our normal meals from the drivethru. Now the routine is different; money goes in a basket; food is handed to you on a tray. I had my mask on so they didn’t get my order right, but hell, they usually get it wrong anyway. Regardless, we were happy and they told us the drivethru would remain open past the dreaded April 3rd.

One more bit of normalcy. Exiting the drivethru and making a left as I do to get home is always a challenge. A motorcyclist was bound and determined to “get butchered” as Janet loves to delicately say, swerved around me to avoid being hit; and he avoided it barely. It was as if to say, “I’m not letting some damn virus keep me from my destiny – to die on my motor.” Anyway, I didn’t kill him and we returned home and wolfed down our burgers so quickly I couldn’t much enjoy it but was happy for the normalcy.

One other bit of normal. A couple days ago Shopee actually delivered a package. I kid you not! I was surprised since I’d gotten a message the day before from the driver that said he couldn’t deliver because of the quarantine. So I was shocked to see him ring the bell and ask for 171 Pesos for a tiny, sort of irrelevant item that I’d ordered a month (or a lifetime) ago. But I was happy. Now if they’d only deliver Janet’s birthday present which is stuck somewhere between Manila and Dumaguete or the little toy which I bought for myself and hadn’t told Janet about (until now) and is coming via FedEx. Every day their automated system tells me it’s coming today but everyday I get a message saying it’s still stuck in Manila. These mofos are teasing me. I wish they’d just admit, “Hey we’re enjoying your toy. You crazy Americans really spend money on this shit?”

One more piece of Philippines normalcy: As I’m writing this Janet calls me, “There’s a lizard in our bathroom.” “So what,” I say. “We see them all the time.” “This is the biggest one we’ve ever had.” I went up and sure enough he was the biggest one we’ve ever had in the house. We tried to catch him and he ran behind the bathtub. Clearly he’s a male lizard – he likes my tub. He can’t be all bad.

Ok I’m making light of all this crap. I could tell you that I’m scared for myself and I could tell you I’m scared for Janet and my Filipino family and neighbours who have it much worse than me. Or I could tell you I’m afraid for my kids, who I can’t get to see if the worst happened and visa versa.

But I can’t tell you all these things. Too busy chasing that lizard.

Blogette

The Disadvantage of Your “Child” Bride

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I know there’s lots of drama and plenty of outraged moral judgment when it comes to marrying a younger Filipina, but here’s a problem I never anticipated.

For the past week Janet has been complaining about her fingers. They swell and get itchy after she works. The first day I had to nearly force her to take an Advil (she hates medicines) which did the trick in relieving the swelling. I assumed she’d just been overdoing it at work.

Janet works hard and I am very proud of her. She recently was promoted to Asst. Manager in her department and I believe the recognition was directly correlated to her outworking most of her American counterparts, who are in the main, entitled and lazy. I won’t say they are also dumb, because that would be insulting 🙂

So it certainly occurred to me that she had overdone it at work and she never complains. She routinely cuts or burns herself at work. At night she shows me her wounds like a badge of honor. At first I was appalled, later I just assumed my young wife was a bit of a klutz, and finally I grew to accept the almost daily marks demonstrating her hard work and perseverance.

So, when she complained about swollen hands I didn’t much worry. Janet was mostly upset about the fact that the swollen fingers would not allow her to wear her wedding ring and joked that someone might assume she was “available.”

But on Friday she called me at work. The fingers were much worse. I decided to come home then and told her I would pick up some Benadryl on my way. The itchy finger symptom made me think of allergies.

Sure enough her fingers were more swollen, there were some lesions on them and they were itchy as hell. Topical Benadryl cream relieved some of the itch but by Saturday morning she asked to go to the doctor. We had tried to determine whether she was using latex gloves at work, since Dr. Dave was still diagnosing an allergic reaction, but were unable to get a confirmation one way or the other. So off to the clinic we went with me still thinking that some kind of allergy would be discovered.

No docs were working at the clinic on Saturday and we got a young, but competent sounding Physician’s Assistant. “I don’t think it’s an allergy,” she said. “The blisters are a dead giveaway. It’s a virus.”

Janet got scared but the PA reassured her. “Every American child gets this virus and once you get it you are immune.”
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I reminded the PA that Janet had never been an American child.

She continued, “Sometimes it’s on the hands, feet or inside the mouth. Since it’s a virus not bacteria there’s nothing to do but get through it. If the Benadryl or Advil help great. Otherwise it should go away in a few days.”

We were relieved it wasn’t an allergy to latex and Janet was glad she could return to work but a bit embarrassed that she had a child’s disease. The literature the PA gave us about it constantly referred to what the parent could do to relieve the child’s symptoms. My child bride kept slathering on the Benadryl cream for a day or two before declaring success.

On Monday I returned to work. The friendly, young barista (maybe 21) at the cafe always asks me about how my weekend was while she makes my mocha. I told her the story about my wife with the childhood virus.

“How old’s your wife? ” she asked.

I didn’t hesitate, “Twenty six.”

We both showed remarkable control: she didn’t blink and I didn’t crack up.

BTW, other than this recent incident, I have yet to find any disadvantage to having a “child bride.” Hopefully Janet hasn’t found much of a disadvantage to having a childish husband.